BFF 4EVA!

One thing that happens in this world is that we are too quick to take for granted the people in our lives.  I am fortunate enough to have met a lot of quality people throughout my life, some have remained good friends, and some have fallen back to being acquaintances.  But all of them are important somehow.

I find the gauge of a good friend, even if it's someone you haven't talked to in years, is how easy it is to pick up a conversation with them after so long.  Just the other night I got a call from a mysterious number (and I don't normally answer those, but I was feeling adventurous) and it turned out to be a friend I hadn't talked to in about 4 years.  We met at my first job in Los Angeles, and he moved to New York a while later.  We're friends on Facebook of course, but we didn't really keep in touch that much.  Yet it took all of about 5 seconds for us to be gossiping and laughing like we used to.  We caught up, laughed about our times together, and ended up talking for a full hour.  

When I visit with friends from college and high school, who now are all grown up and in relationships or have kids and families, I'm always reminded of how special they are to me and how far we've come together.  These are people who have known me for almost or over half my life and we have so much history together.  I look at my mom who gets together with elementary school friends every now and then and hope that when I'm her age I can do the same.  

Despite the old friends, there's still a desire I have to find new friends also. I don't want to replace any of the friends I have, just supplement with some new ones.   I think I'm at a point in my life where I need some fresh perspectives and new blood in my friend circle.   That's one of my missions for the next few months.  

So if you're an old friend, I just want you to know I appreciate you.  Even if we haven't talked in a very long time, I know you are in my life for a reason, and I'm happy you are there.  If you're a newer friend, we obviously met and connected somehow, and I look forward to seeing where that leads.

Thankfulness

Another year, another Thanksgiving.

To me, this holiday is always about family  With my siblings married, Christmastime is always a crapshoot, with one or the other off with their in-laws.  But Thanksgiving is the holiday we're always together, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This year so far has been an interesting one for many reasons.  Between turning thirty, spending months away from my life, meeting tons of new people, and more, this year has been one I will always remember.  It's important to be thankful for the things in my life that are good, because I'm fortunate enough to have an abundance of good right now.

I'm thankful for my family.  Without them, I'd be nothing.

I'm thankful for my friends, new and old.  This year has seen the deepening of some friendships, and the creation of a host of new ones, and all are wonderful for what they bring to my life.

I'm thankful for my job.  In these tough economic times, I'm very fortunate to have a job I like and am happy in.  As I ponder the next stage in my career I realize the benefits this job brings me, and I remind myself of that on those days where I want to give it up.  That and the fact there are literally hundreds of people who would probably kill for this position.

I'm thankful for being thirty.  I know that's an odd one, but the months leading up to my birthday were very productive for me in terms of getting some things settled in my head and in my life.  Heading towards that age was a benchmark for me and it came at the right time to help me handle sme things.

I'm thankful for life in general.  It's a beautiful thing that I am trying more and more not to waste.  as 2009 wraps up I'm sure there will be plenty more things I will be thankful for, and I need to remember that every day.  Because if you're not thankful for what is given to you, you won't get much more.

Two Hearts, in Endless Love

This weekend I had the extreme pleasure and honor to officiate the wedding of two of my close friends.  For many years I've told various friends that if they need someone to preside over their wedding, I'm available, but these two are the first ones who asked (and therefore the most important!).  

Now when I say it's an honor to be asked to officiate, I really mean it.  It's two people who are asking you to bind them together for life in front of their friends and family...that's a pretty heavy thing!  When they asked me to do it, I was sitting in my car (parked) after getting my haircut.  I got a little teary because was really touched when they said there was no one else they wanted to do it, because I knew they meant it (and not to make their wedding about me, but it's really nice to be reminded how much people care about you sometimes!).

As the weeks passed, and I went off to Shreveport, I started brainstorming what I would say or how I wanted to present myself.  I asked them if I could wear robes like a priest once I got deputized...but unsurprisingly I got a flat out no.  So then I asked if I could wear robes like a wizard, which I thought would be amazing.  Picture it - the two of them getting married in front of a wizard.  MAGICAL, right?  I would have flowing blue robes with a tall hat, and a staff in one hand which I could pound on the ground to emphasize my points about love, commitment and eternity.  

I'm still not quite sure how they could reject that, but whatever.  I asked if the hat could at least be in the background, perhaps hanging on a tree branch, but even that was not received well.

Upon my return from the Shreve I had to get deputized by the state, which involved a drive down to Norwalk (which really isn't that far without traffic!) to the County Registrar's office.   In the conference room it was like my life suddenly became a sitcom.  There was me, the quiet observer type, there was the older guy with the mustache and bow tie who had officiated about 12 weddings, the mid-40s woman who was chatty and talked about how she was going to wing it at the ceremony, the mid-40s guy who was thoroughly confused about how the whole thing worked, and the crazy fun guy who came in and started warming up the crowd with jokes and commentary...and the groom came with him to take pictures.  You can't make this stuff up. 

For the last two weeks before the event I practiced consistently, making sure I was saying everything right, with just enough authority, and a little bit of heart, to make it really special for them.  As I walked from the parking garage to my office I'd be practicing, weaving amongst the constant traffic of a movie studio.  

On the day of the ceremony the wedding party all gathered to prepare for the ceremony, and all was calm.  While they were off taking pictures, I was once again running my lines, hoping I didn't mess it up  (Also while they were gone the sun set, and the temperature dropped more than expected and it was probably about 40 degrees by the time the ceremony actually started.  Brr!).  When they returned from photos, I was wearing something unexpected - A WIZARD'S HAT.  I had purchased an amazing hat which sent them into fits of laughter.  They didn't really think I would have it.  

Now don't worry, I didn't wear it during the ceremony..which was amazing by the way.  I fumbled my words a few times but I'm pretty sure i'm the only one that noticed.  It was a little emotional being up there.  Watching them watching me telling them that they're husband and wife was a pretty wonderful feeling.  

Afterwards their parents told me how much it meant to them that I did it, because they have heard about me and knew that I meant a lot to their kids (aww!).  It was just overall a really great feeling, and that's what I really enjoy about weddings - they're all about love.  I find smaller weddings tend to be better because you only invite the people that really mean the most to you and not your 400 closest friends.  Not that a large wedding is a bad thing of course, it's just not my thing.  But there's something about the energy in the room when everyone really cares about the happy couple.  It's hard to describe it, but you know it when it's there.   

The partying commenced quickly and the rest of the night was filled with food, laughter, and dancing, as a good wedding night should be.

And you can bet that wizard's hat went back on...and didn't come off until it was over!

Things I don't understand. Volume 352

One:  The guys at the gym who share a towel.  I can't figure out if they're father/son, rabbi/student, silver fox/young lover, or  just friends.  Whatever the case is, it's creepy that they share a towel after showering.


Two:  People who park in two spots.  I understand if you have a massive car like a Hummer or a Suburban that parking spots might be too small for you, and some spillover into the next spot might happen even if you park properly.  But when you're a Honda Accord parked in the middle of two spots in a parking garage that is so packed it takes 25 minutes to park in it, we are going to have words.  It's not that hard to park properly in a parking spot.


Three:  People who become fans of "Eating" on Facebook.  Really?

Tales from Chez Zeo - Butternut Squash and Radicchio Pappardelle

I have a tendency to read my monthly magazines and think "wow that sounds delicious, I NEED to make that!" The magazine then goes into a "to go through" pile so that I can rip out the recipes I want and add them to my recipe binder. Because I don't have the room to keep all those magazines.

After I returned from Shreveport I realized my magazine pile was almost two feet full of Food & Wine, Sunset, Men's Health, and more, and was way overdue for a purging. So as I was browsing through an issue of Gourmet when I came across the recipe for Butternut Squash and Radicchio Pappardelle. I had a butternut squash in my fridge I needed to use, so I figured why not make it?

Good heavens it was delicious. I mean, it's butternut squash, pasta, butter, nuts, and parmesan with some radicchio added in. What about any of those ingredients is not tasty?

It's super simple and really quite tasty, the radicchio sweetens up when mixed with the butter and squash, and provides a crunch contrast to the sweet chunks of squash. I wish I could take credit for it!

Butternut Squash & Radicchio Pappardelle

(recipe courtesy of Gourmet Magazine)

1/2 stick unsalted butter

2 tablespoon olive oil

1/3 cup pine nuts

1 pound butternut squash, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 2 1/2 cups)

3/4 pound radicchio, cored and thinly sliced

1 (8-to 9-ounces) package pappardelle (preferably egg pasta), broken into large pieces

1/2 cup coarsely grated ricotta salata or Parmigiano-Reggiano (1 ounce)

Melt butter in a 12-inch heavy skillet over medium heat, then continue to cook until it is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Add oil, then nuts, and cook, stirring, until nuts are golden, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a plate.

Add squash to skillet and cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until golden and just tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Add radicchio and 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and pepper and cook, stirring, until wilted and just tender, about 3 minutes.

Meanwhile, cook pappardelle in a pasta pot of boiling salted water (2 tablespoon salt for 6 quarts water) until al dente. Reserve 1 cup cooking water, then drain pasta. Add pasta to radicchio mixture with 1/2 cup cooking water and toss over low heat until heated through, 1 to 2 minutes. Add more cooking water to moisten if necessary.

Serve topped with nuts and cheese.

Big Sky

While in Louisiana I took a huge number of photos. I ended up with over 4,000 of them! I purchased the Canon Rebel T1i before I left, and it's one of the best investments I've ever made.

Louisiana is a very photogenic place. The way the light hits the trees or the water is beautiful. It was hard to take a bad picture, especially of the sky. Light effects are one of my favorite things to see. I tried to catch the beauty of the natural light, because there were some times I couldn't do anything but just stop and stare for a moment and relish how beautiful the world could be. Here are a few examples of what I mean:

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

It never ceases to amaze me how you can leave town for months and come back to find...everything exactly the same.

I left Los Angeles for Shreveport in mid-July, with a return date set for mid-October. As our end date approached, it didn't quite arrive as quickly as hoped. The rain in the south is a force to be reckoned with. Unpredictable and torrential rain forced us to keep extending our schedule. During that last week I joked that I'd been able to say "six more days" for three days because of the extensions. We filmed nights that week and finished at 5am on Thursday morning. Wasting no time, I was on a plane back to LA by 11:30am.


Don't get me wrong, I had a great time while I was there. Much better than I had anticipated. The town was kind of lame, but the people I worked with were phenomenal. I met so many friendly, witty, and just warm-hearted people that I will definitely stay friends with and already miss seeing every day. I got to know some amazingly talented people who I want to put in my future projects. Overall it was a wonderful experience, but I still missed home.

I came back for a few days before taking off on the big gay cruise for a week. Honestly I can't write enough about what an amazing time I had. It was far and away the best vacation I've had in years, probably because it was an actual vacation. I love to travel and see the world, but when I'm off in a new place I want to explore and see everything I can. So it was nice to be in one place where I was forced to just relax, have drinks, hang with friends, and meet new people...all with my Blackberry off and sitting in my room. It was truly liberating.

So now I'm back in Los Angeles and things are back to normal. I'm happy to be here for sure, but now it's a matter of figuring out what to do with what I've learned and done over the past few months to further myself and my career. There's a lot of possibilities in my head and I'm trying to sort through it all to figure out what direction I want to go in.

But that's one reason I enjoy being back in my routine - I know what to expect and what to do so I can spend more time figuring out the future. Because let's face it, the future is a big gray cloud. It takes work to figure out your path through the mist. But I am in a good place now - I'm healthy, I'm happy, my friends and loved ones are well, and the holidays are approaching. What's not to love?

Who's to Blame in California?

California is in deep crisis. The budget is a mess. The state assembly is a mess. The governor is a mess. The Constitution is a mess. And Californians themselves are a mess.

Despite all the messiness, I still love California deeply. It's where I was raised, it's where I belong, and it's so much a part of me that I've never had a desire to live anywhere else. But things have got to change so we can make people remember why this state is so great.

The state budget has never been an easy beast to handle. Every year it seems as if there is a battle between Democrats, Republicans, and whoever the governor is. In the past decade it's rarely been passed on time and fingers are always pointed at the other parties because no one will take the blame.

Governor Schwarzenegger just made some horribly deep cuts in healthcare, child care, welfare, and HIV care/prevention in order to make up some of the $26 billion budget gap for this year alone. These cuts are horrible and will hurt plenty of people, there's no question about it. I'm sure he takes no pleasure in making these cuts, but desperate times call for desperate measures. In order to prevent California from falling into complete and total disaster, drastic cuts have to be made. Democrats blame the governor and Republicans. Republicans blame Democrats.

But why are none of them actively blaming Californians also?

As I said last year after Prop 8 passed, this state is in dire need of a Constitutional Convention. Because of the way the way the ballot initiative process works, Californians are too easily able to alter the constitution. The result is a perfect example of why direct democracy does not work: Californians don't like paying taxes, so they put caps on how much they can be taxed. But they also want everything from new roads to free child care to high speed trains, so they vote to borrow and spend money on those shiny new things. People are easily seduced by the ideas of better transportation and better care for our young, and yet people don't think about how to pay for them. It's ridiculous. This idea that we should have so much control over our Constitution is from a different era, one where government corruption was rampant in the state and initiatives were created to combat it. This was over one hundred years ago.

The reason we elect representatives is to do just that - represent our interests to the state. That's why we worry about what they believe and what they have voted for in the past. Why do we continue to tie their hands when it comes to actually doing their job? With all the limits we impose on them, it's no surprise that passing a budget that is balanced is a challenge. With the limits on taxes, California hasn't been able to store up enough money to weather us through this recession.

A constitutional convention could fix many things including:

- Reigning in the initiative process. It should not be easy to amend or change the constitution. If you can't convince 2/3 of the citizens of this state to vote for your proposition, it probably shouldn't be law. Better yet eliminate it all together.

- Change Proposition 13 which put a limit on property taxes. People's taxes might go up for homeowners and businesses, yes, but the money would help things like schools and public transportation. Those are worth paying for, right?

- Change the requirement for a 2/3 vote to pass a state budget. Make it a supermajority of 55%. You don't even need that much to pass the country's budget.

- Condense repetitive laws and strike old laws from a different time out of our system.

California has the largest state constitution in the United States: it has been amended 500+ times by the people of the state. I can tell you from experience that most of the people in California don't do the research on ballot initiatives and are easily swayed by propaganda, which is why special interests LOVE California. With the right marketing campaign they can get whatever they want.

In a great example of Californians' idiocy - Many years ago the people voted for an act that allowed the car registration fee to be tripled if state funds ever dropped below a certain amount, to make up for the difference. Years later, when the state funds hit that level and registration fees tripled, Californians blamed then-Governor Gray Davis. They actually had a recall election to oust him from office and replaced him with a movie star. Davis had his faults, but this one fee was being used as the biggest example of how he is making bad choices and no one was mentioning that it was not his choice, it was the People's choice!

People have a very short-sighted view of the future. They want immediate results from politicians and from government in a way that benefits them. This is a serious problem, because working with the system now for short term gains is only going to make things worse. President Obama faces similar opposition. Yes he's spending a lot of money, yes his ideas are different and radical, but I feel like he's the only person in Washington with the long term in his sight, what the country will be like long after he's out of office, and not just what happens over the next 4-8 years.

The system is broken. California is broken. We need to fix it and we need to fix it now or it's not going to matter what other cuts the Governor makes because there will be no more money for anything. This affects us all. It affects every person living and working in this state. My friends and family have taken pay cuts because of this. State parks I enjoy are closing because there's no money to maintain them.

So it's time to take action. It's time to write your assemblyperson and tell them that you're tired of all this shit and that it's time for California to be fixed. For good. Call together legislators and politicians to form a very much needed Constitutional Convention and fix the system from the ground up.

Call for an end to direct democracy which does not work - Join the Vote No on Everything campaign to put an end to a system which limits our government and takes away human rights.

Inform yourself. Believe that California can be better and keep your eye on the big picture - we all coexist - we're all in this together - we need to plan properly for the future, not just for right now.

Links:

Vote No on Everything

Who's Afraid of Proposition 13?

LA TImes - Schwarzenegger Cuts $500 Million More as he Signs Budget

Hey y'aaaaall

Hello what few blog readers I may have left!

It's been a while so here's a brief update on what's been happening with me:

Not much. Just the usual living of my life, trying to figure out my future, working on improving my body and working a lot.

And we're caught up!

Oh, and I'm now in the south for a few months. I guess technically I could consider myself living in the "south" since i reside in "Southern" California, but now I'm in the South south. Shreveport, Louisiana to be exact, for work through Mid-October.

My travels out here were surprisingly efficient. American Airlines is generally a horrible airline to fly (I swear their planes shrunk. I've never sat in a seat that tiny!) and going through the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport inevitably leads to delays. But not on Sunday! I boarded a plane at LAX at 7am, passed out for two and a half hours, and arrived in Dallas no problem. They have a train that takes you from terminal to terminal which is handy since it's a pretty large airport. My flight to Shreveport took off on time and I actually landed here about 20 minutes early. Brill!

Sadly though, my baggage did not make it there 20 minutes early along with me. In fact they did not know where my bags were since they don't actually scan the barcodes on the luggage tags. Useful, huh? I guess they're useful when your bags are missing, so that's helpful.

The lady at the Shreveport airport was helpful, put a tracer out for my bags and reassured me that my three months worth of belongings would make it here. Due to my lack of faith I went to the local mall to get some essentials, just in case. My bags did end up making it to my hotel early Monday morning, so I didn't need the essentials, but the shirt I got at American Eagle was too good to waste.

Apparently the weather here is cooler than the heatwave hitting Los Angeles, I left just in time! It's definitely damp here, but the heat is relativily mild for now. Yesterday it was very thunderstormy. I parked outside the gym and as I was checking my Blackberry, a bright flash of lightning and loud clap of thunder occurred simultaneously. That's awfully close! Then it started pouring like I haven't seen it pour in a long time. I was talking to the girl at the front desk and she put it well: "Welcome to Louisiana! You don't like the weather? Don't worry it will change in 15 minutes."

Welcome indeed.

People's thoughts on Gay Marriage

In an attempt to be socially relevant, I asked my Facebook friends to write me what they thought about the gay marriage decision. I was hoping more would write, but the responses I did get were really great (Thanks guys!):

From Scott:

1) Thoughts on Gay Marriage

Every person should have the same rights as every other person. These rights should not be denied based upon religious or cultural traditions. Makes sense, right?

2) Prop 8

People should not be able to vote on eliminating the rights of a minority population. That makes sense too, no?

3) Interpretation of the ruling

Did what was asked of them. I didn't read the ruling, but I'm sure there was nothing controversial. Upheld that CA voter's votes count and legally married couples can't be unmarried overnight. Pretty easy. Hopefully the issue will move on to a higher court and the ball will keep rolling.

4) What should be done now?

a) Wait on putting an initiative on the ballot until 2012. More younger voters will come into play by then. Plus you'll get a little time between initiatives so the public won't feel as if the issue is just going back and forth and nothing is permanent. Plus it will allow 3 more years for other states to change their policies and show CA as one of the backward states. And it will allow time for this issue to run through other courts, as opposed to voting on something that is concurrently being decided upon.

b) Get the effort out there in areas like the Inland Empire, the Central Valley and the suburbs everywhere to inform the public. The big cities are covered, voters outside the big cities are the ones that need to be informed and that will swing the vote. But give the effort enough time to make this progress.

Peace! And equality!


From Kevin:

"I am anti-marriage discrimination. If gays want to get married who does it really hurt? Does it change the definition of marriage? Sure. Do definitions change over time? Yes. Dork used to be a slang for penis. Will allowing gay marriage make people who are morally opposed look like bigots? Yes, but that is the price of the belief. Surprise! People also believe the KKK are unreasonable. Will allowing gay marriage open the door for relationships between humans and animals? Is that argument even serious? How can you marry something that can't sign a marriage license (insert amputee joke here)...or pay alimony. I can't see who it really hurts or impacts other than gay people so why not let gays get married?"


From Anonymous:

As a mother of two children who is celebrating her 10th anniversary today, my opinion on same sex marriage is very strong. I'd love to hear from someone who can prove how their marriage has been harmed or hurt by the few months that same sex marriage was "legal." Here's what can be proved: marriage can be destroyed by anyone, male or female and you can't tell me that a gay or lesbian couple has any less chance of harming the "sanctity" of marriage than a straight couple. Really. I've seen some VERY screwed up straight marriages and this is from people who get on their high horse about how same sex marriage is so morally wrong. They are the immoral ones if you ask me.

I think people should just mind their own business and focus on their "marriage" before telling someone they shouldn't have the right to marriage like them.

It breaks my heart to see close family friends not be able to be married, have children and the same life I love. They would make far better parents than half these idiots we have as parents these days.

I voted No on Prop 8 and quadruple checked it to be sure it went through properly.


From Jaime:

From a legal perspective, the minute that government decided to make marriage a legal contract rather than a purely religious institution, they took on the responsibility to give all citizens equal access to that right. There's no way to determine "love" (nor should they try), people get married for convenience/benefits all the time, and the last time I checked the Bible wasn't a legal text....there should be absolutely zero distinction between same-sex marriage and opposite marriage (to quote Miss California). Marriage for all or none.

From a personal perspective, any small-minded asshole that tries to block two people that love each other from sharing in a lifetime commitment of that love, without affecting them negatively in any way, needs a slap upside his pea-sized brain. I think if more people equated Prop 8 to a law preventing interracial marriage, since that's the moral equivalent, there would be a better understanding of the situation. Homophobia and ignorance are not excuses...they're handicaps.


From Rebecca:

What always comes to mind for me are two quotes. First from Jane Adams: "The good we secure for ourselves is precarious and uncertain until it is secured for all of us and incorporated into our common life." And the second from MLK: "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."

The right to marry, while created to secure an orderly society, should nonetheless be granted fairly and equally: why should I be allowed to do something that my friends are not allowed to do simply because I would prefer to do it with a member of the opposite sex? There is no rational basis for the decision to create separate classifications and prohibitions based on whom we love.

--
So there you go. Some strong opinions out there. If you have something to add, let me know!

What do to about H8.

I meant to post this yesterday, but it was a busy day!

As you are all aware, the California Supreme Court ruled to uphold Proposition 8, the measure passed by California voters last November by a slim majority...the one that wrote into the California Constitution "Only marriages between one man and one woman will be recognized by the state of California." It passed by a slim 52% margin, thanks to efforts by religious groups and right wing groups, and money from the Mormon churches in Utah.

Let me say this now: I don't think the Supreme Court made the right decision. They could have said that equality is more important than majority rule. They could have put California on the forefront of the marriage fight and they could have made us once again a state people look towards for guidance. But they didn't. I don't agree with their choice at all.

But after reading most of their argument, I understand why they came to the decision they did.

The job of the Supreme Court is to uphold the law, not choose what is morally right. We want judges that will look at situations objectively and apply the law as it exists to those situations. It is not the judicial branch's role to make law - that is what the legislature is for, or in the case of California, the people.

The case presented to the court was whether the Proposition was an amendment or a revision to the constitution. A revision requires a much more thorough process involving the legislature (and based on how California's government is being run lately, we all know a revision wouldn't happen). An amendment is simply added to the constitution as long as it falls in line with the rest of the document.

Though the logic might be flawed and the cases cited in the opinion not the best examples, they were very specific that this proposition dealt with one thing: the word "marriage." They were very clear to point out that all rights that gays and lesbians have right now are not affected, they simply are not able to use the word "marriage" to describe their unions, and that Prop 8 did not fundamentally alter the constitution.

However they let 18,000 gay marriages stand, allowing a hollow victory for the GLBT community. So if you got married, congratulations, you're still married! If you didn't, sucks to be you.

The court was in a difficult position. They could either choose to say equal rights above all, or that Californians votes don't matter. A choice of the latter would have set a potentially harmful precedent for future court cases, something that they had to keep in mind. This is not Iowa and our constitution is different and works differently than theirs, so it is not necessarily fair to compare the two.

However we cannot blame the court for their decision. Nor can we say the court is against us. The fact is, the court already gave us the right to marry last year. We celebrated. We rejoiced. We hailed it as a victory. And then WE lost it. The campaign was weak. The opponents were strong. Gays and lesbians were content with the thought that California would never vote for such a discriminatory proposition, so many didn't do anything to act. And look where that got us.

So the question is what now? Where do we go from here? There are already plans to put another proposition to repeal Prop 8 on the ballot in 2010 or 2012, and a federal case has been filed. Are these the right things to do? The only way to undo a voter initiative is with another initiative. Is 2010 or 2012 better? Personally I think 2012 is better. It gives us more time to do what we need to do - talk to and educate people. Show them who we are. Give them our side of the story. Explain to them it's not religion that we are against, it's using religion to influence public policy that we are against.

My main worry about putting "Proposition X - Repeal Ban on Gay Marriage" on the 2010 ballot is the fact that voter turnout will not be as high as in 2012 when we have a presidential election. In 2010 the main race will be for Governor - the problem with that is that if someone like Gavin Newsom (who I'm a fan of, by the way) is running, you can be sure that the right wing will come out in force to defeat him - and us. Again. We'll have to work twice as hard and three times as fast to change people's minds and make sure make sure those who support us get out and vote. I'm not convinced we can do that in 17 months.

The energy at the protest the other night was different than it was in November. Back then it was rage and anger and frustration. Tuesday night it was subdued anger and disappointment and shock, but people were there to show their support for the cause and show that it's not over.

Marching through the streets is not something I think is productive anymore. What we need at these rallies are not just celebrities and mayors telling us that they are supportive and will fight with us, but for people to actually get the crowd involved. Out of the thousands of people who were at the rally that night, 95% of them will go back to their daily lives and not get involved with anything else. There has to be a way to harness that population to get more of them involved (I openly admit I'm generally one of those 95%, but I'm trying to be better).

We can be mad at the Mormons, mad at religions, mad at intolerant people, and all the other people who have wronged us in the past year, but the fact is we need to stop looking back. Proposition 8 is done. It's law. The battle is over and we lost.

It's time to look forward and let the real fight for equality begin.

A Decade of Birthdays

My 30th birthday is finally here. Today I've racked up another year of life and have changed the first digit in my age. That's only happened three times now!

So to honor this I thought I'd take a look back at what I did on the past decade of birthdays. Year by year. Get excited.

5/15/99 - Age: 20
My twenties started off great. My friend John had secretly recorded a video with all my friends giving a rough story of my life and testimonials about me. Then in the evening when my friends started arriving at my apartment, one by one, friends who I hadn't seen in weeks, I figured something was up. We had a viewing and it's still one of my favorite birthday presents ever.

5/15/00 - Age: 21
Ah the big 2-1. As was customary among my friends, we were at TGIFridays at midnight for me to buy my first legal alcoholic beverage. It was that Electric Lemonade that always looked so good. Turned out it was not so good, but I followed that up with my first Long Island, and that was tasty.

5/15/01 - Age: 22
This day was celebrated with an early dinner at Island's where K gave me a gift she made, something that was inclusive of all our friends. I remember something incredibly hilarious happening, and I have a picture of everybody at the table laughing. I think we almost caught a shirt on fire from the birthday candle or something. It was quite funny, honestly. Then I had a meeting to be at which was followed by a surprisingly poignant moment for me, given that my college career was coming to an end. A great day.

5/15/02 - Age: 23
Remember how Blink 182 proclaimed that nobody likes you when you're Tweeeeenty Threee? This is what I call "the dark birthday." I was unemployed for months, in horrific temp job that made me want to jab my eyes out with a spoon, it was a Wednesday so there wasn't really anything to do, and my friends were all busy. I didn't go to work that day and instead bought Winnie the Pooh on DVD. A favorite of mine, what sold it was that "A Day for Eeyore" was on it. That's the day I started a new tradition of watching that short on my birthday. It reminds me that even on the gloomiest of days, you can still find joy. And three days later I got an awesome job.

5/15/03 - Age: 24
I had moved to Los Angeles by this point, but still didn't know anyone. I was living with my sister and had a quiet day, elebrating with her and her husband.

5/15/04 - Age: 25
I for some reason have no mental recollection and no iPhoto recollection for this birthday? WHAT DID I DO?!?!

5/15/05 - Age: 26
I was now secure with my new roommates and my new job, both a year old, so maybe "new" isn't the right word. Things were great. I had my friends to Lola's on Fairfax. I bought my "Don't hate me because I'm Awesome" shirt (another tradition I started - wearing that on my birthday every year), and had a great time with a bunch of new friends and a few old ones. I proceeded to have four martinis of various flavors. A few of them ended up on the side of La Brea on the drive home.

5/15/06 - Age: 27
The actual birthday was nice. A few good friends and I went to have dinner in Culver City, and it was actually kind of gross food, but we took some great pictures and then followed it up with karaoke at Boardwalk 11. A few nights later my friends and i went to O-Bar for my big b-day celebration. good times.

5/15/07 - Age: 28
TACO TUESDAY! Dollar tacos, good margaritas, and good friends. What more could I have asked for?

5/15/08 - Age: 29
The actual birthday, KS and I went to Crustacean in Beverly Hills for dinner. It was nice, quiet, and the food was great. The following night I had a party at Eleven in West Hollywood. It was a grand time with great friends, people I hadn't seen in a while, and one awesome friend introduced me to Lance Bass. And then my other friend made me take a picture with him (a meeting ten years in the making!). I'm pretty sure I embarrased myself since I was a wee intoxicated. And I've spent the following year trying to find him again. You know, to...uh...apologize...

Birthdays always remind me how much people like me. And I know that sounds conceited, but I forget sometimes. It's nice to see that people care and offer me their well wishes. So thank you to everyone who have made my birthdays special. I really do appreciate it. And I look forward to the big 3-0 bash tomorrow night!

No, there's no excuse

There is a girl in Sacramento who sent 303,000 text messages in a month on her new iphone. Three hundred and three thousand. She claims she can't help it because she's popular. They break it down to 7 texts a minute.

Yes dear, you can help it. It's called having a conversation. Or having a life other than texting people. Do you text at dinner? While you're hanging with your 'friends' who you texted to meet up? Do you really have that much to say? Txt me the answer.

Save Kermit!

Maybe it's Daniel Craig, maybe it's Harry & William, maybe it's the Dalai Lama, or maybe it's Kermit. But there's something about this ad from the Prince's Rainforests Project that is somewhat inspiring. I mean, if we can't work together for Kermie, what will it take?

Things from around the web

- Why? Why are people still letting Joe the "Plumber" speak? He needs to go away. Right quick. For so many reasons. Or at least balance it out with me, another irrelevant person with ridiculous views on the world.

- The face transplant is a marvel. It's amazing that doctors can actually do this.

- Star Trek is getting phenomenal reviews. Because I don't want to spoil anything for my friends, I have not said much about the screening I went to the other week. I'll let it's 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes do the speaking for me.

- I'm really excited for Food, Inc. With all the reading I've been doing about our messed up food supply system in America, I'm hoping this helps the word get out. Even if it means my farmer's market will get busier.

- How can you not want Shawn Johnson to win Dancing with the Stars? She's an adorable American treasure!



- Maine is now the 5th state to legalize gay marriage. The California Supreme Court has just a few weeks more to hand down their decision. Six is a good number too right?

It will be choreographed. And it will be good.

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

Piercing through the lies

This is an excellent and educational video by Rob Tisinai (via Towleroad).




I think everyone should share this with people. Especially those who voted for Proposition 8, maybe it will help them see through the distortions of truth that they're being fed. Pass it on.

Conservatives hate silence

The headline is "Conservative groups call for school boycott on Day of Silence."

The article says that conservative Christian groups in New York are encouraging parents to take this children out of school on Friday, the National Day of Silence which was designed to increase tolerance and acceptance of gay kids in schools, where homophobia still runs rampant.

“This day is not about ‘tolerance’ as it claims, but about forcing propaganda and acceptance of high-risk behavior into the schools with no opposing views allowed,” said Linda Harvey of Mission America.

Really, Linda? And what is it you are doing exactly? Certainly not promoting your own propaganda!

And tell me, Linda, is homophobia a concern to you at all? Do you care that children get mercilessly teased and ridiculed at schools just because they're different? Do you care that children are beaten up and killed by other children because of intolerance? Intolerance that was probably taught by parents like you who teach your kids it's ok to hate others because of who they are?

Let me ask you this, Linda. If your child was beat up for being a Christian, you would consider it a result of intolerance for Christians, am I right? You would cry that it is anti-religious hatred taught by liberal heathens who don't believe in God and you would gather your troops to fight this intolerance in our school system. So why is it that acceptance of all people is a bad thing? We accept you for being who you are, why is it so hard for you to accept others?

If you are so close minded about what you want your children to learn then you should not have sent them to public school. Public school is funded by taxpayers. Both you and gay people. It should be filled with facts and truths unaffected by anyone's political views. The goal of school is to educate our children so that they are successful in the future. But it is also their responsibility to open their minds to all walks of life, both yours AND mine. Because taxpayers should not support intolerance. Ever.

Have your little protest, Linda. One day people are going to look back on things like this and laugh at those who fought a day about peace and tolerance. Because it's just stupid.

You think you're crazy?

There's this new movie coming out called Obsessed with Ali Larter and Beyonce Knowles. It looks deliciously trashy and yet I have no desire to see it because Beyonce kind of deters me from anything she does. But her line in the trailer makes me laugh hysterically everytime I hear it.

"You think you'hh crazy? I'll show you crazy."

I actually might be sad when the movie opens because the ads on TV will stop, and they prominently feature this line. I love it.

For the love of Allie

When my alarm goes off for the third time each morning, I tend to turn on the television to wake me up. Years ago I tried turning it on to Fox's Good Day L.A., but between Jillian Barberie and the other woman who perpetually sounds like she just smoked a full pack of cigarettes after going clubbing all night, it just made me want to turn the TV off. So I tried turning to CNN or something interesting, but it didn't work. Then I found the KTLA Morning News.

For me this has become a ritual. I wake up to the same people and get the news I want in 15 minute increments. (I know, I sound like a commercial). The thing I think i like about it is that it's not overly serious, the anchors are good at what they do and can move the show along no matter what technical glitches there are (and there have been a good number recently), and none of them are afraid to make fun of each other.

But I have to say the bright spot of the show these days is Allie MacKay. Is it because she is a good reporter? Is it because after you get used to her sense of humor she's hilarious? Is it because she seems like an intelligent woman who seems pretty normal but with a dash or two of crazy? It's a combination of all of those things.





I know I probably shouldn't have a favorite morning news person, I do have better things to be doing in the morning like going to the gym, but I can't help it. So there. I admit it. I adore Allie MacKay. Think of me what you will.

Tales from Chez Zeo - The Bacon Explosion

A few months ago in my blog browsing I came across the recipe for the Bacon Explosion that the guys a BBQAddicts had come up with. I was entranced. Bacon! Wrapped in Bacon! With more Bacon stuffed inside! What wasn't to love? The recipe is so outlandish that it got picked up by newspapers and morning news shows a few weeks after they published it.

So naturally I had to try it. (I wanted to try it before it went mainstream, I wouldn't want anyone thinking I was trying it just to be cool. I was cool before the hype.)

A couple of weeks ago my roommates and I had some people over and I figured this was the perfect opportunity to blow everyone's minds. I certainly wasn't going to eat the whole thing by myself (though trust me, I could have...right before I had a heart attack) and I wanted to share the joy that I expected this to be.

Step one was to create a weave of bacon. Thankfully I have a Boy Scout merit badge in basketweaving (true story) so that came easily to me.

A skill learned at summer camp. But with bacon.

The next step was to sprinkle some BBQ seasoning on the weave (I conveniently had some straight from Rendezvous in Memphis), put two pounds of sausage on top of it in the shape of a square, and sprinkle some cooked bacon on top of that. Toss on a little BBQ sauce (also from Rendezvous) and this is what you get:

So many layers of flavor!

Next: Roll up the sausage.

What rolls one way...

Once that's done, roll it backwards so that you wrap the roll of sausage in the bacon weave.

Must roll the other.

Sprinkle with more seasoning and it's ready to cook!

How good does that look like it's going to taste??

Now, you're supposed to use a smoker and let it smoke for a few hours. It will infuse the pork with flavor and make it moist and juicy. But I don't have a house and/or a yard to house a smoker. So I had to bake it. I know the taste would have been better in a smoker, but I had to work with what I had. Although this has given me serious reason to consider finding a place for a smoker.

Onward...

The crackling Bacon Explosion came out of the oven looking and smelling fantastic. Smothered in some more BBQ sauce it looked even better.

I know, right?

Let's slice that baby open.

Explosion is putting it mildly.

Now let me just tell you, this was something worth beholding. It tasted exactly what you think it would taste like. But better. Salty, porky, BBQy, juicy, a definite explosion in your mouth of flavor. It was a hit around the party and I'm sure at some point in the future I will try it again.

I made a sandwich out of the leftovers and wow. Better than any meatloaf sandwich I've ever had.

I highly recommend trying this out if you're curious and are having a party. Don't attempt to eat the whole thing by yourself. Or even 1/4 of the thing. You'll die. And I don't want to be responsible for that. Consider yourself warned.

A WTF Moment: Aren't we in a drought?

California is having a water shortage right? Water rates are rising in Los Angeles, right? So a few questions then:


1) Why does this guy in the parking lot outside my office have to hose down his entire lot once a day? Is he bored? Does he think it looks cleaner? I understand taking pride in your workplace, but you don't need to spend half an hour hosing down the big concrete lot EVERY DAY. For some reason it's been irritating me all day, to the point where I want to steal his hose and replace it with a broom. Or at least get him a spray nozzle.


2) If said shortage is as bad as they are forecasting, why on earth are there people all over the city spray washing the sidewalks? Two days ago there was a guy spraying the same sidewalk displayed in the picture above. Yesterday on Vine Street I passed another guy who was spray washing, this one taking at least 20 to 30 seconds to spray off the white sign painted above the drain (the one that says "give a hoot, don't pollute...the ocean" or something like that). Then on the way home I saw another guy spraying outside a part of Santa Monica Blvd that no one really walks on.

I should speak with someone at the city. Because really, no matter how much you clean the sidewalk, it's not going to look pretty.

Unless you're in Beverly Hills. Those things are spotless!

A Closed Book

These are tough times in our economy, as we know. Former retail giants like Circuit City and Mervyn's have closed and are now just memories in the wind. When one of these stores go out of business some people are sad, but most aren't because they don't have an emotional connection to a chain store.

The same can't be said about independent stores though. With the news that The Cook's Library is closing, I'm sad about the small businesses that are driven away not just because of the economy, but because of behemoth stores. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Amazon and Barnes & Noble, but there is something really nice and comforting about going into a small bookstore. You get people that really care about the experience of browsing and of finding something new.

It's also nice to have a store like this dedicated to one topic. I've only been in The Cook's Library a few times, but each time there were at least a dozen books I wanted (but didn't) buy. But when I was in there surrounded by books about cooking, books about things I didn't even know they could write books about, it inspired me and made me want to have all different kinds of culinary adventures. I don't get that experience in a large bookstore.

A Different Light bookstore in West Hollywood is also closing, and though I never really went there it's still a sign of the times that we keep moving away from small businesses that support a community and towards a large warehouse type store (internet included). Whether this is good or bad, it's hard to say. But these places were special and hopefully can one day fight their way back to a triumphant return.

L.A. Oddity - L.A. Tigers

There are a lot of things I don't understand about Los Angeles (Thursday traffic, anyone?), but I think the most perplexing is the existence of L.A. Tigers.


Every day on my way home I pass by this tiny store at the corner of La Brea and Venice, and if it's out, their satellite location at Highland and Melrose, on the corner by the gas station. I know that people sell a lot of things on corners here in LA: art, flowers, naranjas, etc., but those are all things I might actually need. But stuffed tigers? Is there really a large enough market out there that they actually have a storefront?

According to the reviews on Yelp, I'm not the only one who is perplexed by this store's existence. The thing is, it's more often closed than open (or maybe they're just set up in various other locations) and I can't figure out where they put all the tigers that aren't adopted. That little kiosk-like store doesn't look that large, though maybe it has some sort of magic-carpet-bag quality that I'm unaware of.

I suppose I shouldn't be so quick to judge and could stop by one evening just to check it out. Who knows, maybe I'll be charmed and greet my roommates upon my arrival at home holding a cuddly tiger. Stranger things have happened.

Who else wants one?

Tales from Chez Zeo - Coq Au Vin on Grits

Sundays are very domestic days for me. I like to be done with errands and whatever else I need to do by the late afternoon so I can be home, clean up, and gather myself before another week in my pretty ordinary life.

But cooking relaxes me, so I tend to do that a lot on Sundays as well. When I have something adventurous to try, I offer my wares to my roommates as well, most of the time they are very appreciative of my culinary experimentations.

On Saturday I had some spicy shrimp and grits. The restaurant made it flavorful and all sorts of tasty and delicious. I'm usually not a huge fan of grits, but they were divine. So when Sunday roller around and I was looking though Tyler Florence's book "Stirring the Pot," I came across his recipe for Coq Au Vin and wondered if the french classic dish would work with grits.


Coq Au Vin is a very simple yet delicious dish. A chicken, some celery, carrots, and onion, a little thyme, and a bottle of red wine. Sear, combine, simmer, strain, reduce, and voila!

I thought putting them on a bed of grits would add a nice twist. Since I enjoy cheesy grits, I thought adding gruyere cheese would be a nice taste, and I added some thyme in as well.

Goodness they were tasty.

Some mushrooms and pearl onions and bacon were added to the chicken pot, and when placed upon the grits, well it was just a cacophony of flavors and textures that were amazingly good (as I'm sure my roommates will attest).

So i was pretty proud of that one. It plates up nice too, huh?

This is what I should sit on at work

Thanks to Ryan for that. I laughed so hard I made it to silent-laugh-level.

Ode to a Rolled Taco

There is an important thing I miss about San Diego. I mean obviously my friends are the most important, but next to them is the quality Mexican food. Here in Los Angeles it's hard to find good taquerias...which I'm sure many people would disagree with, but keep in mind I'm talking about the area from Hollywood to the ocean. Sure there's Benito's and Campo's, and a few other places, but none of them compare to your everyday random taco shop in San Diego.

This is exemplified in the quintessential staple of any taco shop: the rolled taco.

*note - I did not take this picture*

Why is it called a rolled taco instead of a taquito? Who knows and who cares? All I know is that for $3.75 you can get three deliciously crispy spirals of corn tortilla filled with shredded beef and topped with smooth and silky guacamole and sprinkled with cheddar or cotija cheese. The first crunch is immensely satisfying and by the time you get to the end, your hand covered in luscious green, you relish that last bite...craving just one more but knowing you'll have to wait until next time.

The days of regular late night Mexican runs are over, but I was in San Diego on Saturday and returned to old habits. At 2:30am as we got back to our hotel, my friend and I decided to visit the closest taco stand. By the time we had returned to the hotel she had demolished her entire trio, and I had to eat mine in the car because I was so excited. Crunch after crunch I made, relishing every bite. When I was done I looked at my empty styrofoam plate and smiled in satisfaction.

The next morning when I got in my car, the scent of rolled tacos still lingered and I took a deep whiff of it before I opened the windows, my stomach growling with the memory.

I have found a place near my office that provides a somewhat suitable replacement for the ones of yesteryear, but it will never be a Santana's. Or a Cotixan. Or a Los Panchos or Los Panchitos or Taco Express #2.

So here's to you, rolled taco. You bring back a lot of good memories whenever I bite into you.
You make me happy and content, and on those days when I don't know what I want to eat, just remember: It's probably you I'm pining for.

Live Happy. Live Healthy. Long Live Longs.

When I was a kid, I always enjoyed the shopping center closest to my house. It had a Safeway, a video store, a Swensen's Ice Cream back in the old days, and a Longs Drugs store. Eventually the Swensen's was replaced by a Subway, the deli was replaced by a real estate office, and the candy store replaced with a gift shop. But Safeway and Longs were always there.

Maybe it's because I grew up with those chains, or was blissfully unaware of the idea of a large corporation, but I formed a bond with the two stores. Safeway was where I went shopping with my mom for the things we'd cook. It's where I'd run into people I knew from school or friends of my parents. It's where I learned the layout of a grocery store and prided myself on knowing exactly where things were (I still prefer Vons to Ralph's simply because it is Safeway at heart).

Longs was the place I'd go for greetings cards and batteries. It's the place I'd hang out at while my parents waited for a prescription. I'd roam the aisles looking for anything I could convince them to buy for me. It rarely worked, but sometimes they'd give in. It's the place where in my high school years I'd see my friends working there and wait to go in their checkout lines. It's where we'd buy our Christmas tree lights and valentines. I have a lot of attachment to that store. Even down here in Southern California here's something I like about Longs. I get their layouts, their muzak, and the familiar scent each store seems to have. I appreciate the simplicity of it all and the fact they have the items you're looking for.

Which is why I'm really sad it will soon fade into memory.

Longs was billed as a neighborhood drug store. It's not a behemoth like Walgreens or CVS/Pharmacy. But recent years and increased competition from those companies have forced their hand, and now they sold out to CVS. I was hoping CVS would be kind enough to leave the stores alone, but as I walked into my local Longs the other day I was forced to stop and look at the sign of things to come.


Yes, CVS products have begun to creep into my beloved Longs. It was the first of a few CVS items I saw around the store.

The main problem with CVS stores, other than the weird carpet and low shelving, is that you can rarely find a brand name product. Or if you do it's buried within a host of CVS brand products all touting similar (yet inferior) abilities. Looking for some Advil? There might be a box or two amongst the dozen or so CVS Ibuprofen boxes. Want a Thermacare heat pad for your back? Try the CVS brand that inexplicably has a complicated strap that doesn't stay on.

The only drug store I dislike more than CVS is Walgreens. My father and I often have this debate as he loves the store and I loathe it. I can never find anything I want, and I always feel claustrophobic in their stores. I can't say I've ever had a positive experience in a Walgreens. Let's just say this lament would be much more dramatic had Longs taken Walgreens up on their buyout offer.

So with a heavy heart I will have to one day expect to drive to my local Longs only to see the sign replaced with a bright red CVS/Pharmacy. The store I remember from my childhood will still be the drug stores I compare all others to. Perhaps out of this economy another store will rise to take it's place. Perhaps one day I'll grow to love CVS. But I doubt it.

And as for those cotton rounds in the picture? You can be sure I bought all the Longs brand ones they had left.

Show People Just Love

An American in Paris pointed me to Wordle, a site that essentially makes a visual representation of the words you use on your blog. This is mine. I think mine is actually pretty awesome. Check out the words I use most: "Show People Just Love."

Not a bad way to live your life.

The Amazing Rules

As I watch the premiere of The Amazing Race 14, I am constantly amazed by how some of the cast act in other countries. There are certain things you just don't do or certain mistakes that you just don't make, especially if you've watched enough of the shows to want to be on the show. Here are my top 5 rules for being on the race:

1) READ YOUR CLUE - It's constantly..uh..amazing to me how many people don't read or mis-read their clues. I get that you're exhausted and in a hurry and things are tough, but always read your clue properly. If it says take a taxi, take a taxi. If you have to walk, walk. If it doesn't say to leave an item, don't leave the item. If you misread the clue you will lose time and just get more frustrated than you already are.

2) SPEAKING IN AN ACCENT DOES NOT HELP PEOPLE UNDERSTAND YOU - Contestants seem to believe that when you're in India speaking english in what you think is an Indian accent will help them understand you. It won't. It just makes you sound stupid. In this week's episode a team was in a taxi and the girl says "muy rapido" to the driver. That might have been helpful...if they weren't in Switzerland. Also - Shouting something louder won't make them understand you any easier.

3) CONDITION YOURSELF - You know it's going to be tough. You know it's going to be grueling. You know you're going to have to perform physical tasks you don't do on a daily basis. But the moment you apply to be on the show, you should start getting yourself in shape so you have the stamina to make it through. When you're called in for an interview and might have a chance of making it on the show, you need to prep for it!

4) IT'S NOT HOW EARLY YOU LEAVE, IT'S HOW SOON YOU GET THERE - If there's one thing I've learned watching 13 races, it's that the earliest flight is not always the best option. You need to look at what time it arrives, what your connection is, and what might delay you. Often times the later flight gets in earlier, which gives savvy teams the ability to jump ahead.

5) NEVER GET COCKY - The second you think you've got the race locked, you're setting yourself up for disaster (I'm talking about YOU, Rob and Amber). Cockiness is the surest way to lose a million bucks. Keep it modest and realize that the race is not over until you land on that mat, grab Phil in a bear hug and start to cry in happiness on his shoulder as he tries to shake you off. Then you can be cocky. And rich!

Happy Valentine's Day Indeed!

Ah Valentine's Day.

A day that tokens of affection are shared with loved ones.

If only it were that simple.

These days Valentine's Day is filled with chocolates and hearts and balloons and flowers...and little teddy bears holding chocolates or balloons or flowers. It's a day when men are supposed to treat women to special things from Kay Jewelers and give Hallmark cards about love. It's a day when you're supposed to show the person you truly love how you feel.

On the flip side, for all the singles out there, it's a day to scoff at couples and be "so over" Valentine's Day. They call it "Singles Awareness Day" because it supposedly calls attention to the fact that you're single and others are not. People get really bitter about it and it turns into a day of anti-love for them.

And I'm tired of it. I'm not saying I haven't been one of those singles in the past, but these past few years I haven't minded being single on Valentine's Day. Last year I got to see Aretha Franklin with a couple of my friends. Today I've been recovering from a winter illness, but will have dinner with some of my closest friends.

When I was a kid our teachers always used to make us give valentines to everyone in the class (even those you thought were gross). As we grew up you started having a choice of who to give valentines to, and by college it wasn't cool to do that anymore. But why? I remember even as a kid feeling special that people gave me a valentine, even though it was essentially required. I liked writing people's names on cards like "I choo-choo-choose you" or "You're my favorite, Valentine!"

A few years ago I picked up a box of those small valentines and gave one to everyone in my office. It was small and insignificant, but everyone actually really enjoyed it and thanked me for them. Were they just being nice? Some of them. But I could tell that people appreciated the gesture. And isn't that what Valentine's Day should be about? Making people feel loved?

For those of us that are single, we shouldn't be bitter that we haven't found someone to be our partner, we should celebrate those we do love: Our parents, our friends, our siblings, our nephews and nieces. They are people that matter to us and are just as worthy of our attention on Valentine's Day. We should be happy we have people that love us and that we have people to love in return, in all forms.

The day has definitely become too commercialized, I understand that. Love should be shown between a couple all year round. But on Valentine's Day, make it special. That doesn't need to be a huge heart full of chocolate, or any grand gesture (or jewelry from Kay's), but maybe just cook dinner together and watch a movie you both love. Or go out and do something you both enjoy just to spend time together.

And for the rest of you, tell someone you love them and wish them a Happy Valentine's Day.

Like this: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Ten Shows My Roommates Should Watch Instead of MSNBC 24/7

My roommates of almost five years are junkies. Political junkies. It's one of the things that makes them so charming. As you can imagine the past two years have been filled with Barack and Hillary and George and John And Sarah and blahblahblah. So now that the election is over, the addiction to MSNBC needs to be broken (I swear their TV needs something new or it's going to die of boredom. And they've already resuscitated it once!)

So as a helpful roommate, I have decided to offer my suggestions on ten shows they should watch instead. For their own (and my mental) health and abilty to escape from reality...and so I can have people close at hand to talk about them with. These are in no particular order (and just for the record, they already watch Battlestar Galactica, and True Blood, or they'd be on this list.)

Brothers & Sisters

If I were to put these shows in order, B&S would still be at the top. I was in love with this show from the first episode and my love has only grown for the Walker family. This is a drama that is full of sharp writing, witty humor and just enough melodrama to keep it interesting but not cheesy. With Greg Berlanti behind the scenes and the amazing cast consisting of Sally Field as the matriarch, Rachel Griffiths, Calista Flockhart (who's not as annoying as she has been in the past), Balthazar Getty, Matthew Rhys and Dave Annable rounding out the rest of the family, this show by nature has great potential. The addition of Luke MacFarlane as Kevin Walker's adorable (and did I mention adorable) husband, Scotty, has provided some of the most tender and sweet moments on television this year.

30 Rock

30 Rock has received a lot of press over the past few months thanks to Tina Fey and her Sarah Palin impression. But this really is one of the finest written comedies on television. It's witty, it's clever, it's just wacky enough for you to realize how much of a farce it is. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey have amazing chemistry together, and who would have ever thought that? The only other show that I have found this amazing is...

Arrested Development

AD has been canceled, you may say! But they play it every day on HDNet and I have watched every episode probably 4 or 5 times, and each time I laugh. I know all the jokes, but I still laugh. The writing on this show was brilliant. The acting was brilliant. The humor was so layered that there are new things I notice every time I view it. Jokes in the set dressing or in the wardrobe might elude you the first time, but when you pick up on them they're funnier than what's being said.

24

There is no finer hero on television than Jack Bauer. From the start he has been a flawed man who has had some pretty rough days. He's hardcore and will do whatever it takes to save his country. 24 is generally a "non-stop action thrill ride." It's a rare show that keeps getting better with each season, culminating in a fifth season that blew most of the others away. As most will tell you, season six fell flat on its face for some reason and people predicted that the show was over. Last night's 24: Redemption set up some interesting premises for Day 7 which premieres in January. So that gives the boys about 6 weeks to catch up.

Psych

I don't pretend that Psych is the best show on a number of levels (one being Vancouver is a poor substitute for Santa Barbara). But there's something charming about the show that I love. Whether it be Shawn Spencer's fake-psychicery and endless pop culture references, or Gus' low tolerance for Shawn's antics, or perhaps the unexpected romantic moments between Shawn and Juliette. The show is not always great, but then it has episodes like the 80's reunion one which was amazingly funny (and had Rachel Leigh Cook!). But I love it and I look forward to it when it's on. And I do find James Roday rather cute so that helps.

Kyle XY

For a show that based its advertising on a picture of a kid with no bellybutton (for three seasons, hello could we get some new pictures please?) I have been impressed with the road Kyle XY has taken. The first season was about Kyle learning what it was to be human and provided some surpisingly touching moments between him and his family. I still remember the episode where he first got his heart broken, just after learning what a crush was. The show is fun teen drama with a little mystery thrown in for good measure. The Trager family has a host of realistic problems that the show deals with in a very real way. My only complaint is that it's on for three months and then gone for nine.

The Amazing Race

I got hooked on The Race thanks to my former boss. I caught up when they started airing it daily on GSN, and was even more hooked. Watching crazy couples race around the world and having to do all those challenges is so fun. Especially when you can't stand them and hope they trip while carrying those bricks during a detour. This season has some great locations and tasks, but the cast is kind of dumb. These people have serious issues not reading their clues properly, like they're written in code or invisible ink. They're making constant mistakes and wasting time because they're not doing what the clue says. But it makes for great TV and I totally want to go on it. And I love Phil. I want his job. I could totally walk towards the camera dramatically and say things like "A detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour teams must choose between [insert witty name 1] or [insert witty name 2]."

Top Chef

The first thing my roommates will tell you is that I'm a nut in the kitchen compared to them...or most people. (I cooked them dinner last night which included fresh bread! I made bread!) Top Chef is like Project Runway but about food, and sometimes more entertaining. I love watching what the chefs come up with and find it fascinating to see what choices they make when it comes to flavors and tastes. Last week's hot dog challenge made me want to run out and try some of the recipes immediately. The chefs are so cocky sometimes it makes me want to smack them. But then there's Padma. I don't know why I love Padma so much, probably because she's glamorous and enjoys food, only one of which I embody (you can decide which).

Fringe

After a mediocre pilot, Fringe has actually become the only new show of the season that I enjoy. It's an interesting weird-sci-fi-issue-of-the-week show, but they do a really good job at throwing a twist in at the last 15 seconds or so, to keep you interested in the greater mystery. Joshua Jackson's character has become less annoying which definitely helps. But it's good entertainment with a killer soundtrack.

90210

I know, I know, it's so trashy. There's not much redeeming about 90210, but it's mindless entertainment that I find highly amusing to watch mainly because it's ridiculous. There's not one part of that show that is believable except for Kelly and Brenda and their still-tumultuous relationship, which is pretty sad for the rest of the cast. My question here is why didn't they cast anyone hot? Gossip Girl managed to do it, and there are plenty of pretty people in Beverly Hills. Maybe it was their way of showing that it's authentic and "real" than just superficial. Even though it just turned out to be superficial.

So there you have it. To my roomies: Get watching. Or no more dinners for you!